Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
