so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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