...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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