whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
