oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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