I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
