You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
