doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
