is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
