and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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