I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
