Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

what time did you get home last night?

(1-917): View more from New York City

SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

(1-917): View more from New York City

He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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(917): what time did you get home last night? (1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time (1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott http://tfl.nu/lqla

Replies (16) Good night (1744) Bad night (862)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Oh.My.God.

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(405): So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid (1-405): Oh.My.God. http://tfl.nu/b4yo

Replies (32) Good night (706) Bad night (3784)
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(206): View more from Washington

i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

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(206): i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual. http://tfl.nu/myfw

Replies (23) Good night (5679) Bad night (1779)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday

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(307): Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday http://tfl.nu/9dt4

Replies (14) Good night (4255) Bad night (1003)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

She bit a glass in half.

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(250): She bit a glass in half. http://tfl.nu/3ugo

Replies (11) Good night (1283) Bad night (3366)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend

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(412): she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/4xq5

Replies (16) Good night (5669) Bad night (829)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

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(217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5

Replies (6) Good night (2080) Bad night (874)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

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(612): i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning. http://tfl.nu/nqu5

Replies (17) Good night (3483) Bad night (987)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year

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(267): he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year http://tfl.nu/s0i5

Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (411)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.

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(573): I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room. http://tfl.nu/g1i7

Replies (5) Good night (817) Bad night (327)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...

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(302): Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week... http://tfl.nu/cclg

Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (716)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.

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(989): I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/w8ll

Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (270)
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(315): View more from New York

So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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(315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo

Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (274)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.

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(651): I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms. http://tfl.nu/li3p

Replies (7) Good night (471) Bad night (134)
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(458): View more from Oregon

And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

(458): View more from Oregon

Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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(458): And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him. (458): Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man. http://tfl.nu/z269

Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (247)

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