You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it