Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted