what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth