Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

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  (952): well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning. http://tfl.nu/jye2
  Replies (14) Good night (5541) Bad night (1343)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.

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  (401): She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY. http://tfl.nu/e2x6
  Replies (29) Good night (2909) Bad night (7012)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

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  (406): she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure. http://tfl.nu/ut3o
  Replies (5) Good night (1288) Bad night (2615)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

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  (360): No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gf5w
  Replies (11) Good night (3492) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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  (506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0
  Replies (11) Good night (6019) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

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  (360): I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer. http://tfl.nu/agxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2208) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

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  (314): Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/614c
  Replies (10) Good night (4033) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.

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  (815): I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room. http://tfl.nu/691w
  Replies (5) Good night (1313) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.

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  (614): We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid. http://tfl.nu/h4jz
  Replies (12) Good night (2935) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.

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  (936): uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again. http://tfl.nu/cxza
  Replies (8) Good night (781) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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  (732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1504) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong

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  (610): At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong http://tfl.nu/hvr0
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

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  (360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk
  Replies (12) Good night (1224) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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  (770): I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out. http://tfl.nu/df2n
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.

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  (720): I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me. http://tfl.nu/ka0d
  Replies (8) Good night (505) Bad night (278)

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