Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

  (650): View more from California

  Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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  (650): Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite (650): Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good http://tfl.nu/6hx1
  Replies (7) Good night (551) Bad night (833)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.

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  (214): I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some. http://tfl.nu/ig2r
  Replies (8) Good night (4053) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...

  (559): View more from California

  ...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!

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  (559): i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers... (559): ...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win! http://tfl.nu/147d
  Replies (29) Good night (7116) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself

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  (502): they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself http://tfl.nu/m9eg
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (2853)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.

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  (707): You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are. http://tfl.nu/sbxa
  Replies (6) Good night (1252) Bad night (3110)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.

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  (860): omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning. http://tfl.nu/wknn
  Replies (6) Good night (2221) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?

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  (952): Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed? http://tfl.nu/137p
  Replies (8) Good night (1911) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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  (330): i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait. http://tfl.nu/bv41
  Replies (15) Good night (2880) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"

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  (617): hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?" http://tfl.nu/pq50
  Replies (14) Good night (3703) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

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  (425): He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that http://tfl.nu/3z2y
  Replies (14) Good night (758) Bad night (2155)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months

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  (262): Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon (1-262): That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months http://tfl.nu/99ql
  Replies (1) Good night (1646) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Apparently love is stronger than SoCo

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  (719): Apparently love is stronger than SoCo http://tfl.nu/rcou
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword

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  (817): And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword http://tfl.nu/z2rx
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.

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  (607): I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend. http://tfl.nu/q6a0
  Replies (6) Good night (408) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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  (717): Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie http://tfl.nu/cc1l
  Replies (5) Good night (1402) Bad night (358)

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