marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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