why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i came on her dog
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
