Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
