David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
