wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
COCAINE IS GR8
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
