remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
