It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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