I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
