Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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