My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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