I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
That was before I lit my hair on fire
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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