What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
