I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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