nut hugger
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
