He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
