dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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