Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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