You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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