I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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