i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize