meet me or not, i'm out of control
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
