i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
