like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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