i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
