Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize