Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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