why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
where are you?
Hypothermia
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
