That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
