Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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