Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
