And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
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Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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