I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
