it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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