I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
