Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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