yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
