If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
