That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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