I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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