I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
