i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
