Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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