Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
