brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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