TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
