In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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