I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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