I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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