I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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